For fucks sake....

I feel like a fucking whale...a sick whale. I haven't gotten my fat fucking ass to the gym in about 2 weeks and have been eating like a pig. And I feel like shit. Damn. Sucks. Gotta get back to it if it kills me.

wtf i feel like crap

I've been so bad with food and lack of exercise the past week or so. And the upshot is that I feel like complete crap. I'm stiff and achy and headachy and tired and nauseated and feel like I can barely walk. Ironic, isn't it? When I exercise less, I end up feeling like I can barely move.

So it's back to the gym today, even though I'm so fucking busy at work that I should really just work through my lunch (like I had to yesterday).

soon fridays will be gym days

But not this Friday, as I have a half day of work today. This is the last Friday of summer hours at work, though, so next Friday will be a gym day again...until next July.

I didn't eat all that great yesterday...it wasn't bad food in itself, but probably just a bit too much of it. I was going to eat just a little, but then husband wanted me to make dinner for him. He had been busy all day doing porjects around the house...I can hardly refuse him when he's been working all day. And so I made some yummy stuff (I'm not a bad cook, if I do say so myself) and couldn't resist. Oh well. And this weekend I'm taking the kids to the fair, so that will be more bad food. Eh, at least there will be a ton of walking around to counteract it.

My sister (the one whose partner killed herself recently) is trying to arrange a working party at her farm/cabin for tomorrow. I know husband and I should go and help out, but I'm feeling overwhelmed by it already. I think she thinks all it will take to make the cabin liveable is a couple days of hard work. But that is what got her in this position in the first place! There is only so much people can do before professionals need to be called in. The cabin has no foundation, pretty much, which is why the floor became a mess of rot and mold. The roof portion of the cabin is patched up half-assed, so I'm sure a ton of water got in that way too. So I'm not sure what we'll do about tomorrow. Plus, I've got my kids, and I hate to have to leave them the whole day...no way am I going to bring them to help. It's such a mess out there that I would worry about their safety.

summer's gone

Summer might be gone, but our pool is still open. The husband and I got in a swim last night. Oh, the joys of having a heated pool. But I'm sure we'll be closing the pool by the end of this month. Always makes me a little sad.

So food the past two days have been pretty good. I didn't keep total track...I've got to get back to that.

Wednesday, I did my over-lunch-hour workout at the gym, 30 minutes on the elliptical and then about 20 minutes on the weight machines, trying to target abs and back. I didn't get to the gym Wednesday after work because the husband and I had some errands to run. Today, I did a yoga class over lunch. I really enjoy yoga. I wish I could find a class as hard as I used to do when I taught yoga...I was in the best shape of my life then and working out only like 3 or 4 times a week...and eating more than I am now. But then I fucked up my back, and my body has slowly gone downhill from that. Sucks.

I still haven't weighed myself. I'm thinking I will do that on Monday. Oh, wait, make that Tuesday, since I have the day off work on Monday. So Tuesday I'll get back to that.

Still not sure what route we are taking for Halloween this year. Heh, maybe it seems immature, but I just love Halloween. Geisha/samurai? Saloon girl/gunslinger? Mrs. Claus/Santa? There are some super super cute Mrs. Claus costumes out there, and I found a Santa smoking jacket...kind of like if Hugh Hefner were Santa, lol. I'm leaning toward that.